dorae! dorae* @ 3 @

18th September 2010

2010-09-18T21:38:00.000+10:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	High
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

31st August 2009

2009-08-31T01:23:00.003+10:00

Suddenly feel like blogging here again.. after so long.

Can't sleep, reading an old friend's blog that goes back a few years. A trigger for so many memories from past 5 or so years. Memories are so sweet.. so powerful. They were just playing like a film in my mind right now.....Nostalgia...<3

I used to keep a record..kinda like a small journal of what I do day to day. Reading it would bring back most of what I did those days.. but I've slacked off this year.. I haven't kept any record for a while now, there will be holes in my memories. But that's okay.. hmm maybe thinking about starting again. Maybe next year, 2009 will be just be a blank lol, except for a few days that are....hard to forget. hahaha.

This year has gone by so quick, before we know it. It's going to be NYE again.. the best night of every year. Sigh... right now I just feel like going back, being so carefree and naive.. having a reunion with the people in my past. But everything has changed.....

And in a few years time. I'll be looking back on today.. All has become memories.

That's life.

2008-09-26T22:19:00.002+10:00

I think I went a bit crazy today. Really. So fucking frustrated about everything. Some people are so so so stubborn, so stupid, think of only themselves. Made me super super annoyed, and then I didn't even want to go and do anything. I COULDN'T. I broke a few things. Want to just close my eyes and get away from everything. I went outside and actually yelled, so loudly. ANYWAY.

Last night was graduation, our group probably the only group in the grade that didn't really cry. Well, except Hana.. who cried so much I think her eyes might be swollen today..

Anyway, what I need to do by tomorrow:
x Send email
x Clean room: more procrastination
x Filing *
x Tutorial and 2 exams
x 3 repeats

My plans never work out, recently.

Anyway, that's about it.. going to eat a few things then rest. Have to wake up tomorrow.

~~

2008-09-05T15:27:00.001+10:00

CONFRONTATION
CONFRONTATION
CONFRONTATION

trust me to collect 3 of them, wth

2008-08-25T13:21:00.003+10:00

People like you, who constantly attack my weaknesses
Will only eventually make me stronger

2008-08-11T15:04:00.002+10:00

hello hello~

Life is so retarded! I don't know what to do, so confused.

Oh well, anyway.. Last night, I wrote down what I needed to do today. So far, I haven't done anything.. If I don't do them, I'm seriously going to think of a way to punish myself. My will-power has become so weak, how sad.

Update: SKY LOST MY HOMEWORKS. So now I have to redo them, all 5 of them ):

Sigh, so much to do, and I don't know where to start, and how to start =.=

SIIIGHHHH. Better do my yearbook page, now!

2008-08-04T23:17:00.003+10:00

Life's been interesting recently, though not in the good way- oh well, I'll live I suppose.

I'm annoyed at the moment. I missed Assessment #3 and had to do it the day after, and I supposedly "failed to provide documentation regarding misadventure after several requests to do so"- quote by my chemistry teacher, when she didn't mention anything at all, ever. And the form is just in my old folder somewhere, forgotten about, but attached to the medical certificate and done. She sent those warning letters home, I suppose she just has a grudge against me, because "Daisy has failed to attend Friday morning classes since the middle of Term 2"-which is every fortnight, and might be true. But still, annoying. I don't go because she teaches me nothing; I know how to read, and if I want photocopied sheets to do I'll just photocopy my own textbooks and do them, thanks. Parents have signed it, I'm not going to sign it unless I'm forced to tomorrow.

Anyway, today Jan took me to doctor. The doctor I usually see wasn't there, so saw another. Then drove around Canley Vale. Went back to Parra to eat, then to the river side, which was really nice but cold. Did nothing much after and then I went home. Blah.

I've been sleeping at 3-4:30am these days. Sigh, not studying though. Oh well, anyway. I can't wait until Friday afternoon! Hopefully my mind can be put to rest by then, hopefully. Going out with Melinda, so excited! ^^

And hopefully people find the homeworks that I lent Sky, they dissappeared from my pidgeon hole. Gahh.. hopefully.. I want them back, sigh.

Talked to Rosie the other night, about a few things, too. Felt pretty relieved after. <3

"..if you haven't got confidence in yourself how in the hell can you expect other people to have confidence in you? What is you know really is off putting is where you see people sort of being an excessively proud or seem to be very proud about things that they've got no reason to be proud about and I mean I think it's very silly to be proud or boast about your intellect and you can be born with a squiggly ear or a crooked nose or fine intellect and you didn't have any bloody thing to do with it. You were born with it. What your responsibility is what you're born with is to nurture it and make the most of it." - Bob Hawke

2008-07-25T15:01:00.002+10:00

Today, I didn't go to school
I got woken up at 5am, due to girl.. pains
Hurt crazy crazy bad, woke everyone else up
Even cried.. stupid..

Oh well, so I slept til midday and did nothing after

I have an exam at 4:30......

I was thinking..
My friend said I treat him like a little boy
And he'd get angry/annoyed when I do
But I.. don't?
I hate it when I don't know the problem
So I can't fix it

Now, I feel so awkward and unhappy

Need to take a pill, so I don't die in pain in the exam

2008-07-22T03:16:00.002+10:00

3:16am
Why is life this way?
Feeling so fucking empty at the moment
Noone to depend on
Noone to share thoughts with
Noone to share pain and happiness with
What I'm afraid of most

Even starting to physically hurt myself again

I'm sorry for everything I've done
Please just give me my life back
The life I had only less than a month ago

Please?

2008-07-15T12:22:00.004+10:00

So, nothing much has happened recently.. I watched an interview with Bob Hawkes on ABC1 last night. His words are really wise, I should've taped it, or something.

Also, I have really extreme moodswings. Have to do my scheduled tasks now!

A: This smells soo good >_< I can relax~~~
B: ..........

2008-07-12T01:58:00.002+10:00

I can't describe how I feel at the moment. I just want to do somthing to vent everything that's inside me. Too bad I don't have the tools to make myself feel better at the moment.

I can't stand this feeling. I feel like I'm going to go insane.

Why WHY THE FUCK am I like this?

Anyway, Happy 19 months, Jan~

I just turned my computer back on to type this. I'm blind. The keyboard is a big blur, the screen is another blur. Let's see how my typing skills are, yeah? I'll find out tomorrow.

Hope that I can get to sleep. Last night didn't sleep til 3 hours after I got into bed.

BY THE WAY. WHY DO I HAVE TO FIND THINGs OUT THIS WAY? I'M ASKING YOU, GUY WHO'S IN THAILAND. I THOUGHT WE SHARED EVERYTHING. INSTEAD, I FELT LIK E A RETARD., GOING THROUGH EMBARRaSSING WAYS. TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU. There's a reason I'm like this, after all. Bingo.

2008-07-11T21:44:00.002+10:00

I am really STUPID.

(TT______TT)

2008-07-09T01:14:00.002+10:00

hello there~

It's 1-something am and I'm bored.. kinda used to sleeping at 2am these days, so I don't really want to get ready to sleep until then. Have about 5 tuition homework booklets and two Biology Independent Trial papers in front of me that I've yet to finish. Why the hell am I complaining about boredom when there's work to do?!! I'm so not motivated and extremely lazy.....

At about 1-2pm in the afternoon, I'm always thinking I have so much time until I have to sleep! I have so much time to do work.. but I never do anything by the end of the day. @@ So good at procrastinating, seriously.

Mm.. anyway, it's really strange.. even when I get enough sleep, but I'm always tired. I'd always want to fall asleep while watching TV at about 4-5 in the afternoon. Is it because of low blood pressure? Does is affect people that much?!

Jan is neglecting me at the moment. No msn replies, no sms replies, and I don't know where the cordless phone is.. don't want to go looking for it downstairs (so DARK), so I cannot call, also. Mmm.. he's probably picking up some girl at some dodgy place at the moment. pppfffssss

&@;#*I'm so frustrated! =.= Maybe the result of staying home all day for 2 days in a row now. I should go out tomorrow, force myself to visit tuition to hand in homeworks.. then go shopping.. walk around.. do SOMETHING. And shall be out thursday too, I think. In some ways, I can't wait until November/December; hopefully the direction I'll be heading will be clear by then. I just want to start another section of my life and leave this one behind. Nothing's going to change until then, and if there is a change, it'd be for the worse. WANT TO FORWARD WIND!

Jan's still neglecting me.

LALALAA.. oh my god. I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM/COMPUTER DESK. I've been telling myself to do it for over a week, attempted a couple of times.. I have to do it. I can't even sleep in my room anymore, I feel so.. caustraphobic, and the mess makes my mind feel cluttered. So now I sleep on a super comfy sofa in front of TV. Hahahaha.. but it's comfortable!

What else do I need to do. Oh been telling myself to place in an order for clothes online, too. On that note, have to pay Annie back for clothing ordered on Zipia a couple of weeks back. Probably envelope it into her mailbox to her mum or something... after I tell her! Have to do that before holidays end, too.. or during trials.. something..

My contacts are drying up, from staring at the computer screen. I hate it, so annoying.

I wish I were more organised, and I think I've lost my amazing willpower that I used to have. I wish I had that now too. Must get it back, soon.. somehow.

So so so so sleeptime soon, tomorrow (today?) I must:
1. Wake up somewhat early, might prevent strange dreams
2. Place in order for clothing
3. Do chemistry homework
4. GO OUT
5. Clean room/desk/floor!
6. Photocopy and do Biology trial papers

Do-able. So I better do it.

Mm.. hope today will be a better day than yesterday.

Retarded random and messy post. You're probably really bored if you're still reading..

Goodnight then

2008-07-05T00:53:00.002+10:00

Taking a risk is often your first step towards success.

If you don't take some risks, you won't get the chance to succeed.
While you are trying, you are winning.

The law of averages is on your side.
The more you try, the greater your chance of succeeding.
Never get discouraged.

Every wrong attempt is another step forward.
People that make no mistakes usually don't make anything.

Make up your mind not merely to overcome a thousand obstacles,
but to win in spite of a thousand defeats.

Your mistakes are stepping stones to success and
your installment payments to victory.

You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose

2008-06-29T18:14:00.003+10:00

Wow I've been blogging everyday.. I guess it's because I have noone to talk to.. and nothing to do when not studying... which is quite often.

I'm annoyed at about 100 things about myself at the moment. I was just typing them all out in an attempt to sort out my thoughts out manually, but I was up to about 15 and then I gave up.. while trying to put one of them into words. I guess I wouldn't've typed all of it truthfully anyway, because I'm sure some of things I'm annoyed at would sound too stupid and embarrassing to reveal.

So/Also, I'm getting into this uncontrollable habit again. This stupid OCD I had is coming back to me. It's really crazy. I don't even want to describe what it's like because it'll sound.. REALLY wierd. It's sooo annoying, and my mind can't fight it away. I have to somehow forget about it. I think it started in year 3-4 years ago. It makes my head hurt from thinking, thinking, thinking. I thought I completely got over it, until now.
FUCKING HELLLLLL.

I used to write books and books of useless things before. I read some of it when I (thought) I was over it, and they sounded so...... gah, so retarded. I chucked them all out. (*#&@*&#(*@73

I'm starting to get insomnia, too.

MY HEAD HURTS.

AHHHH! I just want to be happy....

I'LL BE ALRIGHT!

Have to clean my room and computer desk, all these notes/paper/books everywhere.. so hard to sort because some things don't have dates on them. Now I need to blowdry Mimi.

Okay, I'm really screwed up. I hate myself so so so much.

2008-06-28T22:07:00.001+10:00

Why is it that you're never there for me?
You never even make an effort to be there for me
It's one of the few things that I can't get myself to get used to..

I'm just not strong enough

2008-06-28T00:45:00.009+10:00

I'm webcamming with Jan at the moment. Gah, I miss him so much!

HEHEHE <3 Sigh, I feel like a little girl..... Well, I'm going to sleep now. So tired.. and I guess I need to study hard tomorrow!

Goodnight!

2008-06-27T19:24:00.001+10:00

I'll just keep telling myself that I'll be alright.

2008-06-26T21:15:00.003+10:00

I feel.. that everything is pointless
that everything is so bland, and life is rather not worth all this trouble
I feel like.. I can't be bothered with anything
I feel.. empty cold and so alone..
and so helpless..

I would love to turn back time and pause..

I haven't felt this properly for so long.. more than a year or so.... and I'm not used to it anymore.....

FUCKKK.

Apparantly, it might be just withdrawal symptoms.. Jan is on the plane at the moment about 7.5 hours away from me.. and I've been staring at his photo all day.. knowing I won't see him for many weeks.. like some love sick retard

I really don't know

I can't concentrate on anything at the moment

FUCKING HELLWHATTHEFUCK is wrong with people these days!?!! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK.. fucking pissed off.. cannot live this way man.. I just want to AHH! this is what fucking happens when you are used to depending on someone.. when they're not there for you for some reason, you are forced to deal with everything by yourself.. and in my case, survival rate is slim

2008-06-19T00:29:00.002+10:00

hello people!

long time no post on my blog..... hope everyone's cheerful these days! ^^

nothing much has been happening I guess.. I got sick for the 3rd time this year, with the flu instead of the cold this time, though.. and other than that I've just been schooling.....

it is very boring and very very very tiring, waking up in the morning is very hard.. and also, my body has been feeling weak all the time

I looked in my diary today, and I think I broke all my new year resolutions for this year.. and I thought they were pretty easily achievable....... sigh I am very bad aren't I..

ahh.. anyway.. I don't have much to say, maybe blog again soon!

sorry for the pathetic update

night <3

2008-06-04T23:27:00.002+10:00

with every single person supporting you.. and caring for you..
loving you..

have you ever felt that the only person who wasn't on your side, was yourself?

2008-04-26T00:16:00.002+10:00

It's 12:20am.. I have Bio to study for Ket tomorrow.. and I'm here blogging =_= what the fucck.

WELL, It was Jan's 20th Birthday last Friday.. and so we went out to eat and blah. And, on this rare occasion, I brought my camera! So I have photos to blog for once!

Merh.

Doootdoot..

FUJIYA. Maybe I'm stupid, but I thought Seoul Ria was Fujiya before =_= When I went to the actual Fujia this time, I insisted to Jan that they had a renovation!....................... We made a bet of $10, and I lost it. I feel so... stupid.

Jan can't wink.

Cake I bought for Jan, since it was just the two of us, I decided to not get a plain one-flavoured cake, but made the Breadtop people arrange slices in a cake for me. Girl who served me was like o_o... I can't do it *grabs another girl*..... what's so hard about making a circle =_=;

LOVE ^3^

Wish may possibly come true as he blew them all out at once. There weren't 20 candles though. I thought it'd look cluttered.. just one on each slice (:

Eyes are half-closed, and I look drugged and yucky.. But Jan looks preeety in this picture so I decided to keep it!

kisskisskisskiss!

Well, it's late now.... I must attempt to study. Or I'll wake up early tomorrow to study.

2008-04-14T14:33:00.002+10:00

GREETINGS :D

Long time no post I know.. hope everyone's been well. Holidays just started for me, how exciting.. have so much work to do.... ;_;

Don't think holidays will be so exciting, but it's better than school I guess. Weather's so fucking cold. Its only autumn...... @#^!@ hate being cold....

Today I have to finish my yearbook page, think it was due yesterday... but I don't know what to put on it, seriously. Have to clean my room and computer desk thing.. which is hard cos there's shit everywhere.. was meant to do it yesterday but I kept putting it off... -_-; Andd... online clothing shopping yayy! ^^

MUSTN'T PUT THESE OFF FOR ANY LONGER! DIES.

ANYWAY, going to eat.. hungry!

BYEEE.

2008-04-01T19:24:00.002+11:00

what's with people these days.. seriously..
so stupid and with a child-like attitude, but they think they're so smart and so mature

or maybe I'm just talking to the wrong people

2008-03-01T02:13:00.002+11:00

Fuck that

Why give another chance for?
Nothing's ever acknowledged or appreciated..

Nothing.

I gave you another chance.. Your words sounded like they were from your heart, but in fact they were empty.
You never keep your word.

It seems I'm up at 2:30am doing nothing, right?

29 February 2008

2008-02-29T18:32:00.003+11:00

Reminder:
"The HSC more accurately measures how hard you work, rather than your level of intelligence."

..............
SIGH.

2008-02-16T17:31:00.002+11:00

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

16 February 2008

2008-02-16T17:16:00.002+11:00

Been kind of alright lately......
Haven't been doing too much, should study twice as much as I currently do..
Feeling stressed. Getting headaches all the time, and haven't been to see doctor yet.

14th February was a busy day, even though I didn't go to school. Made Strawberry Cheesecake for Jan! Melinda came to help speed up the process, cos I also had to go to Burwood to get my braces off. I failed the night before, though.. didn't beat the eggs enough ):

Yup, ended up meeting Jan at 6pm~ went to City, and ate! Then went to watch Jumper, which was alright, and bum around as usual. Was a happy day but tiring day..

Thankyou to Mel for helping me, and thankyou to Jan!

Got our assessment timetable: so I'm currently worried about english, maths and eco..

=_=..........

2008-02-06T19:36:00.000+11:00

not good enough

5 February 2008

2008-02-05T22:06:00.000+11:00

Hello there~
Hope everyone's well!

School started last Wednesday and I'm already pretty tired! How am I going to survive the rest of this year??

Only been schooling/tuition since school started.

I've been getting headaches pretty often recently.. feel nauseous a lot, but I'm not too sure why...

Going to see a doctor hopefully this weekend..

):

Feel so unwell, so stressed, so unhappy.....

Sighs......

Hope everything will turn out alright...

23 January 2007

2008-01-23T20:55:00.000+11:00

TIRED. *@&^#(!&^@#&@#! Whatever.....

I had a good day though.
I made pasta and then double choc cookies with lover.

This is Didi, lover's dog! So cute, wearing my key necklace :3

Daisy Street, Chatswood.
No good pictures of lover. Next time folks!

Being emo at Epping yesterday. Thinking about many things that happened in the past that makes me sad, makes me want to go back and live in the past. Then finally snap out of it and take a picture! In such a ............. mood atm.
BUT THANKYOU TO MY LOVER FOR A GREAT DAY.

17th January 2007

2008-01-17T16:13:00.001+11:00

Been doing nothing. Went to City yesterday for dentist appt. and then went shopping by myself buying clothes. Today visit ortho at Burwood early in the morning.. then go home =_=; Taking braces off soon, hopefully. But teeth still feel in an awkward position, seriously felt better like a year ago. Hope ortho will understand me and fix it.. ):):

Yah that's about it.. haven't been studying much. No mood lately. I don't know why, I feel like I've changed so much during the past year.. I'm having thoughts I wouldn't normally have, feelings I wouldn't normally feel.

...

Anyway, took a couple of photos a few minutes ago. So bored. Edited it so you can't see my face clearly, which is a good thing for you guys :D Thank me.

And this is from a while ago. Love him :3

14th January 2008

2008-01-14T12:01:00.000+11:00

Been busy recently. Spent every day shopping/eating at different places with family friends. Spent much $$. They left on the morning of the 12th. Miss them already, and it's so quiet without them.

There's only 2 weeks left of the holidays...... OMG. Can't wait til post HSC ;_;

Oh well..............

I don't really have anything to blog about.

Have to go cook lunch now. Then get ready to go tuition.. have to train it there. =_=; I am soo lazy.

*****
I'll suffocate without you.

2008-01-02T17:43:00.000+11:00

At home by myself.. lazy day..

2008 now.. but I haven't really thought about it being a new year..

Didn't feel that inspirational feeling that I've felt during the past couple of years.. Instead, I had a feeling of wanting to disappear from the world, is this a sign?

Nevertheless, I didn't dissappear, so I sat down last night.. and made a couple of brief resolutions for the new year.

Hrm..

*****
On the night of NYE, just spent time with Jan. Went to eat dinner, take photos, K & drink. Jan bumped into his friends, so in the end.. he drank more and more.. and he became crazily happy (drunk). But he is cute when he's drunk, so it's okay :3

Thankyou to Sweetie for being with me and caring for me, before and after you became drunk! ^__^

******

Happy New Year to everybody, and I hope everyone has a great year, and achieves their New Year Resolutions!

24 December 2007

2007-12-24T14:06:00.000+11:00

Reminded of the time you stood up for her..

To you, my side always has to be in the wrong

To outsiders, it is obvious who is lying to who..

Why couldn't you see it?

To you, my friend was lying to me

Think: Why would he lie, he is not a close friend, he will not bother trying to lie to me, it doesn't make a difference to him or our "friendship"..

What is it that you see in her, even after so long, that completely blinds you to the most obvious truth?

I was upset, but I couldn't be bothered to try to explain to you for more than a very short time; my words fell on deaf ears.

Anyway, I don't expect you to ever see or understand what really happened.

*****
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone! :D

23 December 2007

2007-12-23T14:24:00.000+11:00

heelloo heellooo!

I've been cleaning today... cos I didn't properly clean the other day =_=.. anyway, so I'm at home again today!

Last night was really relaxing and fun..

Parents drove me to the City.. and I waited for Jan because he was later than me for once. He called me, and I was complaining for him to come sooner the whole way he was travelling to the City. I'm very impatient, and in a couple.. only the girl has a reason to be late!

We walked around playing with a "Soduku" rubix cube that he brought from Dymocks. It was hard.. and I only kinda learnt how to do two layers of a colour rubix cube (still get confused a bit with the 2nd layer).

Then we suddenly felt hungry, so we spent a long time trying to think of where to go to eat, that we haven't been to before.. Then I remembered Shelia telling me about Katsumi~ this Japanese restaurant. So, went to Katsumi and ate lots of food!

FOOD *__*
2 plates of Beef Tataki, Wagyu(?) Steak, Large Sushi plate(boat?), yummy marinated chicken, Rice&&Miso soup and and alcohol.. 2x hot Sake, Gomango cocktail, and green apple Chu-hai~ *loove*

A few hours later.. we went to Darling Harbour to talk. Walk around the City for a while longer and then parents drove me home.

Simple and very relaxing! ^__^ Should bring my camera to take some nice photos next time.. for myself, too. Otherwise my memory might distort some things.

Oh well, I still have heaps to do! Might update later on..

21 December 2007

2007-12-21T11:37:00.000+11:00

Greetings!

I'm at home, alone with Mimi.. cooking noodles, eating mango ^O^.... needing to completely clean my room today~

I haven't blogged, in quite a while.. not sure if I have, but it feels that way.. I have nothing to blog about, anyway.

It's basically the beginning of the holidays, and it seems that this holiday will be a busy one.. sigh..

Family friends coming from NZ on the 27th til 12th January.. so gotta take their daughter/sons around during that time.. to shop and to eat..

And I must also study..

Also, congratulations to all those '07 high school graduates who got their UAIs yesterday. NSG is 2nd again! Ahh OMG I don't want to go through this HSC process....... D:

#)@*#!*@&*!@!!!!

Hrmm.. Jan & I's 1 year was on the 12th of this month! ^__^

HAPPY ONE YEAR, SWEETIE!

*****
"She looks... too big for him... and her head is too big compared to his.. and.. O_O " - S. Hu

I feel really mean.. but I thought what she said was really funny.
"her head is too big" like what the hell =_=;

Oh well, I guess this is just something mean, but made me feel a little better nonetheless.. thanks Shelley <3

How do you know if someone is nice, if there's no evilness to compare it with.

2007-12-05T01:18:00.000+11:00

Happy 17th Birthday, Annie!

I wish you a wonderful year of happiness and luck and good health and......... everything!

Hope you're enjoying uni, and life in general over there in Canada!

<3

28 November 2007

2007-11-28T20:25:00.000+11:00

Haha, thankyou for giving me so much happiness, then turning it all around the next day. And on such a special day for me (probably not for you), as well. I was happy pretty much all morning.. even with all 6 assessments coming up in the next week, and lack of sleep. Happy! I was alive.. on that can of V and my clearer mind; all the useless excess thoughts that've elimated from my mind the night before. Yeah, until I found out all your words were lies.

Then it all turned dark.

I'm meant to be studying at the moment, but I can't really.. not before I get at least a portion out of my system.

I care, no doubt. I don't know why you can't see something that's so simple and clear. Everyone can see, except for you. Who sees it first hand, all actions directed towards you.

Anyway, normally I'd be alright. But at the moment, it's the wrong time. There's too fucking much to handle at the moment. So just leave me alone.

Do whatever you like (not like I need to tell you that). I have no choice but to leave it to fate.

If you don't want to be with me, then just tell me.

Involved: vision. photo. mind. type.

22 November 2007

2007-11-22T22:22:00.000+11:00

I DON'T WANT TO BE IN YEAR12..... T_T

Hrm.. anyway...... a few photos with 2 of my 4 dear school friends :3

This was during our Monday 2nd period free a couple of weeks ago. That evening, Yvonne suprised me sending me a collage of the photos via email! ^__^ *love* Yeah. We were... bored...

(click picture to enlarge!)

Also, taken today.. were these of Melinda and I:

Haha, I look retarded, but Mel's pose just made the photo a really cute photo! She looks 5..

Umm.. one of Mel's strange idea of a pose.. "Daisy, push your head back! I'll stretch my head to the front!" - I tried. And so did she. Lols! =_=

I was meant to be giving a dirty (took 20 seconds to find the "perfect" positioning of the head and the eyes), and she was meant to be the victim of my scary eyeing. But.. obviously I can't play the part.. instead, the look on my face reads "Er.. what are you doing? Mel?" *BAD PHOTO*

How we normally look! ^__^

BYE-BYE!

4 November 2007

2007-11-04T18:22:00.000+11:00

I guess that's how it's going to be.

I can't change anything.

31 October 2007

2007-10-31T13:58:00.000+11:00

Memories..

The day spent in the Emergency Department of Westmead Hospital:

The Triage nurse was a bitch.

He ate the gross hospital food..

He also slept in my hospital bed..

I did not belong there, at all. I was perfectly fine. But I was forced to stay.. the Emergency Ward was a pretty sad place, though. All these super sick people everywhere, and I was there, walking around with Jan, eating and waiting to see doctor after doctor. And getting angry and frustrated. ):<

30 October 2007

2007-10-30T23:33:00.000+11:00

Work is piling up D: oh dear...

I'm taking a break from doing work.. sigh, I still have maths homework to do, and I feel so unwell.. I wish I could just go to sleep.

Well, life has been alright, I guess. It's been becoming less and less exciting though. There's been less of Jan, pretty much less of everything except work.

I don't have much to say.. have to take a pill now and continue doing work!

Here's a picture of Yvonne and I, a while back, we were at Passion Flower:

11 October 2007

2007-10-11T20:27:00.000+10:00

Hrmm.. my 9173982th attempt to revive my blog.. I hope I don't become lazy after typing the 1st few sentences like all the other times. ;_;

.....

Holidays have almost finished T_T these couple of weeks have just felt like a long 2 days. Sigh.

Had a really long day yesterday. Went to Sydney Fish Market with Jan + his family + Mimi. I met one of the workers there while she was on break; she started talking to me. She made very good company while Jan had run away from me. We didn't ask for eachother's names though >_< Such a cute girl. She gave us free food after, too!~

Then went to a park for Cookie + Mimi to play, while the parents went to Star City. And we just drove around the wharf, and explored a office building that was under construction, sat at a wharf together. Later going to eat dinner at the city, before going home.

Thankyou for a good day, to Jan and his parents. Cookie? Mimi? Neh, haha.. was so tiring to look after dogs.. how are we going to have a baby..? -_- haha.

3 more days left of the holidays..

* 12 hours of maths class
* Buyng school things: I've been shopping quite a few times and I still haven't really bought the stuff I need for school =_=
* Seeing JanJan :3
* Finish cleaning my room (I attempted this about 827631 times, too)

): Ai.. It's thundering.

*****
This was taken on Tuesday.. JanJan got the Hello Kitty for me, it has a green apple on the overalls she's wearing ^__^:

And a bonus from Annie & I:

11 October 2007

2007-10-11T18:12:00.001+10:00

Sometimes I can feel, that you look down on me. Like I am a lower than you, some kinda of rubbish compared to you.

I hate it. And sometimes I wonder if I really deserve this, especially from you..

If you are even considering this post to be about you, it probably is.

23 September 2007

2007-09-23T20:19:00.000+10:00

You go wherever life takes you..

I'll be holding your hand.

16th September 2007

2007-09-16T17:50:00.000+10:00

Hello there!

So I am kinda bored, and I don't really want to do more work, so I'm here! >w< Exams have finished, and we're back to school today for classes. Except now, half the class doesn't turn up, because they either have yr12 luncheon rehearsals, or they can't be bothered coming. I was the only one in YPG (lol.) to be at school on Friday. But it was alright, I guess.

Went to the city after school on with Shelley, to look for a dress for next Tuesday. Tried on a few dresses and took a couple of pictures each, and made a purchase! (: A couple of the pictures, from Shelley:

*I'll put them up here later tonight*

Also, from last Tuesday:

I looked like shit. And my cheeks are so fat. *pukes*

We were playing around outside Entertainment Centre, when 2 tourists interrupted our game and gave us day passes for the Monorail. How random. But we decided to use them, anyway (to make Melinda jealous haha). We got off at the end of Pyrmont Bridge, and those^ were taken in the blue lights on the bridge. -_-;

^Eating ice-cream ^__^ Purposely wanting to hold it through 10 photos we took, just so he could "pose" with it. Pffs.

YEAH, anyway.. I'm going to get my hair cut tonight =_=; Hoping it will go alright.

3 September 2007

2007-09-03T21:52:00.000+10:00

I think I am a very selfish person.

I want to keep someone that is precious to me all to myself; I don't think much about who else he is precious to. I want to put him in my pocket and hide him from the rest of the world so that nobody can see him and nobody can try to take him away from me. I even want to erase his past, so that nothing else existed before I found him. I feel jealous when I think about anything he has loved before.

I want there only to be me that he searches for in the crowd.

This is a new feeling to me, I have never felt this way before. I think it is a very bad, selfish feeling. It makes me feel like a bad person.

Why? >_<

1 September 2007

2007-09-01T10:53:00.000+10:00

Good morning!

I am meant to be at tuition at the moment, but I've changed my tutorials to tomorrow (I'm not working for the next 3 weeks), and my class has been moved to monday afternoon.

Last night, Jan's sister left to HK and won't be back for 3 years.. and today, Annie is leaving to Canada for Uni, and won't be back for a long while. T_T

On Thursday evening, I spent some time with Jan's family + Cookie. We had dinner at a nice Japanese resturaunt down the road from my mum's work, and then went to Kmix to sing. They also took the time to drive me home. Thankyou!

Yesterday afternoon, I spent time with Annie on her last day here. We did a few things that we used to do all the time; we looked around at shops, bought snacks from Miracle and Thai Kee, played DDR, took purikura.... :3 Every time I am feeling down, I always think about those times we spent a couple of years ago.. they were so..... carefree. Times have changed, and now Annie is leaving me very often! >_<

Please come back to visit me soon, definately call, okay?

As I was walking towards Town Hall Station last night, to go home.. heard a couple of people calling my name.. Jerry, Vincent and the others I used to spend time with early last year!

They dragged me into eating ice-cream with them at French Riviera, after realising that in a couple of hours, it would be exactly ONE YEAR since that day Jerry, Steven and I bumped into eachother in the city, ate ice-cream and wandered around the city streets while flipping a coin to see what direction we should walk.

They're such a cute group of friends, I've always thought that since I met them. So I'm glad that they're still the same happy group as one year ago.

And yeah, didn't go watch The Bourne Ultimatum with them afterwards, because I thought I should go home.

It was a good night.

AND THE WEATHER WAS SOO NICE; warm nights once again! <3

31 August 2007

2007-08-31T12:26:00.000+10:00

24 August 2007

2007-08-24T23:46:00.000+10:00

I'm back here to make a post - taking a rest from writing Chemistry notes.

End-of-year exams are approaching; evidence that year 11 is coming to an end, already. Shiibaaal! D:

Exam timetable:
Thursday 30/08 - English Adv, 8:50am
Monday 03/09 - Mathematics 2u, 8:50am
Wednesday 05/09 - Economics, 1:00pm
Monday 10/09 - Chemistry, 8:50am
Tuesday 11/09 - Maths Extension, 1:25pm
Wednesday 12/09 - Biology, 8:50am
Thursday 13/09 - SOR 1u, 1:00pm

My 17th birthday is on a Sunday in between the exam timetable.... I'll be sure to have a modest celebration on that day, then celebrate again properly once it's all over. I can't wait! :D

That's it for now. Edit later.

18 August 2007

2007-08-18T18:59:00.000+10:00

your lies are perfect, they are flawless

you hide your cruel secrets so well

what are you?

13 August 2007

2007-08-13T01:46:00.000+10:00

WAHHH. Goodmorning! @_@

I just finished my Studies of Religion Assessment Task about 15 minutes ago; I left it to the last minute ):

Anyway, today, well yesterday, was Jan & Daisy's 8th month together.
HAPPY 8 MONTHS JANJAN! ^___^

We couldn't spend the day together because we both had work, but that's okay because we spent most of Saturday together. After tuition in the morning, went to Eastwood to meet Jan, then we just walked around enjoying the really really nice weather and doing nothing else. Then Peter came, and we had a drink at Homer's Cafe, before we went to pick up another car and went to a lookout. Then drove Mooney Mooney to... drive more.... -_- most of the time over twice the speed limit.
I am still alive :D

Last week, nothing really happened, hrm..
* Got the yearly exam timetable - looking forward to the days off :D
* Japanese exchange students left on the weekend.. >_<
* The weather became sooooooooo good *love*

This week, I'm looking forward to.....
* Tuition and more tuition
* Writing Chemistry notes
* Spending time with JanJan~
* Going with Annie to get her hair dyed & going shopping

Seems like it will be a fair balance. Hopefully it will be one.

Goodnight!

5 August 2007

2007-08-05T18:50:00.000+10:00

I finished Nobuta Wo Produce yesterday. I remember when Andrew was constantly trying to make me watch it a loong time ago during a school holiday, but I wasn't really interested in watching. I'm so happy I've finally watched it because it's so good; there was so much heart in it. The ending was sad, I hoped that Nobuta, Shuji and Akira would've ended up together.

It is a very memorable drama. Thankyou to Yvonne for lending it to me.

&& AKIRA (Tomohisa Yamashita or Yamapi) IS SOOO CUTE IN IT! And I used to be annoyed at the way he looked in magazines..... =_=!

KON KON! ^__^

29 July 2007

2007-07-29T21:54:00.000+10:00

Sometimes
I just feel so alone -- and I don't know what to do -- to stop feeling the worst feeling in the world.

Thankyou
~~for being there.~~

26 July 2007

2007-07-26T00:31:00.000+10:00

Here to catch up a little.

Since school started, I've returned to my weekly routine that consists of school, tuition/city, home.

But last friday, I spent a nice evening after school with Shelia, Hin, and Jan. It was quite the cheerful, I haven't spent quality out-of-school time with Shelia for a very long time, and that's why it's special. I just went and shopped a little by myself (sad sad Daisy), before Shelia&Hin came to meet me at MC. Then after a bit of DDR (sad sad us -_-;), and whatnot, Jan came! && we had a drink and played a game of chinese checkers at 2nd Floor In before going home:

Today, I didn't go to school.... I was in a lot of pain and got out of bed past 4pm ):

Oh, and I found this.....

ANIMANIA 2005:
Look at what we're wearing O_O! I guess it doesn't look so extreme in the picture, but there when we walking through the city, with rainbow clothing and soft toys hanging everywhere and wearing matching momo bags...... we got a lot of stares and even laughs from a group of people..

"HAHAHA! Take a picture of them, take a picture of them!"

*****
The best things cannot be seen; that is why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry and dream.

11th July 2007

2007-07-11T17:04:00.000+10:00

There's three people you will have to go through in life.
The person you love the most,
The person that loves you the most,
and the person who you spend the rest of your life with.

Very rarely the three will the be the same person..

10 July 2007

2007-07-10T00:22:00.000+10:00

Why do I always get a feeling that I haven't blogged for a really long time, everytime I visit this site to blog? o_o...

Haha, I really don't have much to post.. I have photos of various people, and stuff from recently, but I can't be bothered uploading them onto the computer -_-; OKAY, WELL.

1. I've been a little crazy over this arrangement of Canon - Johann Pachelbel, for a while now, I just thought I'd share it. It's sooooo good *shiny eyes* CRAZY CRAZYY:

2. Found this, it was taken at the end of March, 2006... SO LONG AGO. Shelia and I:

3. There's this boy that I've been through so much with. Thankyou for all you've put up with, for everything you've done for me, for just being beside me when I don't want to look back at the past, or to the future. Thankyou, Jan.

*****
&& it only hurts when I'm breathing
my heart only breaks when it's beating
my dreams only die when I'm dreaming
so, I hold my breath to forget - 06.07

6th July 2007

2007-07-06T13:58:00.000+10:00

I LOSE.
not knowing the reason why I lost.

X I I X I I
I dont need you to promise me forever. Just promise me tomorrow. We'll take it a day at a time and we'll be fine..

1 July 2007

2007-07-01T20:11:00.000+10:00

1st of July, beginning of a new month. Again.

30 June 2007

2007-06-30T20:21:00.000+10:00

29th of June

Yesterday was the last day of 2nd school term! Really couldn't get up in the morning, felt very sick and dizzy.. so I just slept until 11:30am, when Hana called from school and made me get up!

So dad drove me station, and I got to school at the end of lunch, there were 2 periods left of school. Both were class parties ;_; Just ate with Hana at 88 during 4th, and played during 5th.

Went to city with Shelia, bought matching coin purses from Catalog with her :3

Jan came to meet me, then us 3 went to MC to play DDR.. Shelia left to go home, and Jan took me home to change! I made him wait 1hr for me ;_; SORRRY!

Back to city, met Lillian and friends, ate.. then go to K2 to sing and drink :D
DIED.

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY LILLIAN!

28 June 2007

2007-06-27T23:58:00.000+10:00

Long time no proper postings......

So here I am! To tell you about my day! It's nothing uber special, just haven't done it for a while *___*

Train alone (as usual), to school.. and I missed the train by less than a minute, because I misplaced my trainpass.. and had to spend that 1 minute to buy a ticket ):

School, only periods 1 & 2: Maths and Chemistry. Pretty normal, even a little boring. After, school had the Talent quest and Charities day.

BUT. Hana, Melinda, Yvonne and I went to MillioRe to eat. YUMMY :3 After eating, went to play with the machines in capitol. Yvonne & I make a good team, we got 2 toys each. Very cute.. took some photos with them later, but my phone USB cable is broken, so can't upload ):

After playing and winning toys, we went back downstairs to Passionflower. Crepes, ice-cream, and yummy green tea drink :3

So we all depart afterwards, and went our seperate ways. I went to tuition. Feel bad about maths, want to drop ext1.. but now.... I am indirectly forced to keep it. %$#@*! @__@ DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Then I came home. Played with MiMi.. she is sad and crying, because she's not used to being alone. T__T

ANYWAY. It's 12:21am, Sweetie is out with his friends. He is playing and having fun without me, I think he even forgot that I am waiting for his call T__T.... but what can I do, I will not bother him and let him have fun.. he needs a break from me anyway! T__T.. I will get ready to sleep- pack my bag for school and brush my teeth!

Goodnight everyone!

23 June 2007

2007-06-23T23:01:00.000+10:00

HAHAHA <3

15 June 2007

2007-06-15T22:39:00.000+10:00

only you..

15 June 2007

2007-06-15T22:16:00.000+10:00

But now that I've seen what lies do
They cause pain that only a liar can't feel

15 June 2007

2007-06-15T17:43:00.000+10:00

HELLOHELLO!

Uncle is staying at our place at the moment, he's sending me 5 puppies from home in Brisbane by early next week! But mum only wants to keep one or two.. ^___^ the others will be sold to dog breeders in Sydney. They're only 6 weeks old! *loove*

JanJan is currently very very sick.. T__T

I'm sick of all the rain....... makes me very cold and have big headaches..

And lastly, a quote from Shelley's blog:
"And people with eyes like slits.. please just don't try giving dirties cos no one can see them anyways. You might just hit the wall for making your eyes even smaller than the thin line they already are hence making your fugly face more hopeless even with the help of 100 plastic surgeries."

*****
Smile from your eyes
Laugh from your heart
Love from your soul

8 June 2007

2007-06-08T21:48:00.000+10:00

WAHH GREETINGS!

Been to school all days this week.. you would think that would cut off much time for drama and shit to happen. BUT NO. It continues without much of an intermission......

This week:
* prefects were voted
* chemistry test
* recieved maths test marks -_-
* career's day today, so no classes.. helped curled Yvonne's hair, and talk to Melinda and Hana, instead : D
* JanJan 3 4 times this week *love*
* a couple of crazy dramas

It's been raining so much for the past couple of days... so Jan and I got to shower in the rain both yesterday and today : D although we're both sick.....

It was so cold today too.. and he made me wear his massive warm jacket.... and he was in a T-shirt in the crazy cold and rain.... >_< thankyou...

4 June 2007

2007-06-04T21:40:00.000+10:00

A photo from a while ago, when Wyntane & I bumped into each other at Memorial Park (rose garden) in Chatswood. The quality of the photo is kinda shitty here- I saved the jpeg file one too many times. Oh well.

^__^

[edit]O_O our hair looks so similar.......[/edit]

2007-05-31T00:14:00.000+10:00

Thinking of the good things, reminded of the bad, sick of feeling tired, of feeling so sad. My past has destroyed me, emotions always running high, living on fake smiles, the tears I cry. Breathing for nothing, only to stay alive, dragging myself along, just to survive. All seems pointless, don't know where to go, this perfect happy act, was always for show.

Trying for nothing, never find my way, nobody will let me be me, always have something to say. Always held back, from moving one step on, feeling so weak, forever seem to do wrong. Just wanna be myself, and try to find my place, I'm hating my make up, can't recognise my own face. Don't feel that I belong, can't describe how I feel inside, just one single night..
And my soul died.

I'm tired of breathing, don't wanna remember before

But it's all fading......
I can't do it anymore

2007-05-26T15:47:00.000+10:00

WHAT THE FUUCCCKK.
AND YOU FUCKING EXPECT ME TO FUCKING GO HOME EVERY NIGHT
YOU FUCKING THINK I WANT TO COME BACK TO THIS KIND OF SHIT AT THE END OF A DAY?!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU DIG OUT YOUR FUCKING REASONS. YOUR FUCKING EXCUSES.
YOUR ARGUMENTS MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.
FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE.
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO RUIN MY OWN LIFE.
FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY.

23 May 2007

2007-05-23T16:13:00.000+10:00

19 May 2007

2007-05-19T16:16:00.000+10:00

Even when I look deep into your eyes,
I really can't see it in you....

And that's what scares me.

18 May 2007

2007-05-18T18:31:00.000+10:00

Sweetie,

Please be safe and have lots of fun, okay?
And I will be here waiting for you to come back.
I am missing you......

I feel alone and empty..
Even though we're far apart
Send my love with all my heart
When you miss me at night
Look at the stars shining bright

For the times you pulled me though
All the things I do for you
Running tears from my eyes
Thinking how I will survive the next goodbye..

15 May 2007

2007-05-15T00:08:00.000+10:00

I spent almost 12 hours of today in the ED of Westmead Hospital today.. -_-;

Thankyou to:
* Jan's dad who waited for him waiting for me waiting for this doctor..
* The ambulance people/doctors/nurses (except for the "triage nurse".. who was a bitch)
* Max & Rosie who called to talk to me <3
* Melinda who called to talk to me <3
* Parents......... for I don't know.. picking me up.. bringing me food....

&& especially to JanJan who waited for me, and stayed with me for the whole entire time.. through the frustrations of talking to people both of us didn't really want to talk to, and waiting for extended periods of time.. I'm so sorry! ;_;

The most unexpected turn-out of a day.

13 May 2007

2007-05-13T18:05:00.000+10:00

12th May 2007

Went to tuition and finished at 12pm, then trained home, talking to Sophie on the train; she was going to work (:

Stayed home for a couple of hours, then went to meet Jan at Westmead station ^__^ and we trained to city and took Purikura at Capitol, last time taking was on NYE.. so long ago!

Went to eat at Sakae.. haven't been there to eat for a very long time, too. So yummy!*love* Then we went to buy alcohol, and went to KMix to sing and drink..... <3

Sat around and Hyde Park, and around there, just talking. Such a nice, peaceful and pretty atmosphere. Then went back to Chinatown, see retarded people. We bummed at our usual place, then JanJan drove me home later. Got home at 3am-ish ;_;

Anyway, that was a really brief recount =_=;

I had a really good day, thankyou JanJan!
Happy 五月 Sweetie!

He wrote 5 month on our teardrops picture.. =_=;

11 May 2007

2007-05-11T10:13:00.000+10:00

RAH! I've been away from school twice this week, including today.. good? bad? I duno ^__^

I've been sick since last Saturday night, too! A cycle of sneezing fits, coughing, sore throat, blocked nose, headache-ing >_<
STUDYING CHEM TODAY.
YUUUUUUP.
I WANT TO HEAR HIS VOICE T_T

It's 10:30 and he's still sleeping, he never sleeps until 10:30! ;_; why is he so tired??..... we slept so early last night~

: D : D covers all the right places.

4 May 2007

2007-05-04T21:39:00.000+10:00

28 April 2007

2007-04-28T14:08:00.000+10:00

FRIDAY

I got to sleep in a little because had first period free :D schooling is still alright! Just sat at our place at the senior lawn at recess and lunch as usual.

Went to the city with Shelia, Hana and Juliana.. and then when they went off their own ways, I met Jan!

* we went to K for 2 hrs..
* then went to market city, and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which was pretty random, but alright! :D
* went walking around.. there were so many people in the city last night.... went to Darling Harbour to try get away from it all.
* found a bar/lounge place while looking for a toilet. Sat there until 12am
&& went to Superbowl/Y2K to eat.

EW && Jan drove me home.. thankyou <3!

long day.. I have a couple of random pictures somewhere!

26 April 2007

2007-04-26T19:07:00.000+10:00

DAY 1 of TERM 2

School was good today! The WHOLE day was really good! :D
& I haven't thought that for a long while, so I think it is worth noting on my little corner of the WWW. I hope it continues to be as good as today until the last day of year 12...... but that's a lot to hope for..

After school, I went to Ichi-ban Boshi with Hana :D
We ate raw beef................ O_o but it was yummy!

Then I trained home. I hate Cityrail.

Pictures (you'll have to tilt your head a bit):

Those were basically all the pictures that were taken. I look weird, in the eating picture ;_; haha.. oh well, that's it.

Bye-bye!

25 April 2007

2007-04-25T14:54:00.000+10:00

I'm back from the dead.
[Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Guang Zhou via Shen Zhen]

I miss those places. Life is friendlier to me over there, and people are soo much nicer, especially in Taiwan.

Tomorrow, I will see school again.............
. . .

How I miss those days..
While we were younger, our worries were simpler, smaller
As we grow older, our worries become bigger and more complicated
We live to suffer, right?

2007-04-17T23:13:00.000+10:00

Tim* Hunni* me*

2007-04-16T20:19:00.000+10:00

11 days into the holidayz...

11 days of Tears

Waiting for the day that we can
lie there.. once again and forget about the world...

mmmm . . . . . . ^..^ thankQ "hunni" for visiting me dur!ng my sleep!.. thats the best th!ng that happened so far !n this holiday =__________=''

and . . . . . . People please enjoy your holidayz...
only 1 week left..! make the best out of it!

**********

Everlasting

2007-04-07T18:28:00.000+10:00

Only 2 days Hunni~

Miss you so much already~~...

T.T

XII . II

3 April 2007

2007-04-03T22:52:00.000+10:00

I'M BORED.
I don't feel like doing any work.
So I'll look for a couple of pictures to post! ^__^

These were from long ago; mid-end of 2005:

(: cute, right?

"piisu VV"

We then started taking pictures licking Blue Bear ;_;

Annie with her once trademarked yellow hair!

Just a couple, but now I have to shower, finish packing luggage.......

2 April 2007

2007-04-02T21:54:00.000+10:00

MIKAMI HAIR SHOW
really nice, right? : )

*****
Words alone are worthless.

1 April 2007

2007-04-01T16:13:00.000+10:00

Someone played a joke on me while I was half-asleep.. and it made me cry. Stupid me. T_T

*****
Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behaviour.
Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time.

31 March 2007

2007-03-30T23:47:00.000+10:00

you gotta take the good with the bad,
smile with the sad,
love what you got
and remember what you had,
always forgive, but never forget,
learn from your mistakes but never regret,
people change, things go wrong,
just remember that life goes on..

2007-03-28T21:05:00.000+10:00

I miss you!! 12xII

26 March 2007

2007-03-26T21:33:00.000+10:00

This week:
* English common (viewing task; Relationships)
* Maths common...
* Chemistry assessment task due (Metals)
* Chemistry topic test
* Economics assessment
* Biology assessment task due

&&
* haircut & etc.
* doctors appointment
* tuition Chemistry hwk
* tuition Maths test

.__.

25 March 2007

2007-03-25T00:56:00.000+11:00

Training to Eastwood last night..

There is only you.

24 March 2007

2007-03-24T23:50:00.000+11:00

IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS. ONLY 11:09pm at the moment ^__^

Another post. All I have been doing in my free time nowadays is meet Jan. Seriously. I'm expecting a dramatic decrease in page views :D

Yesterday I went to school, it was alright. School is school. I have to go to school everyday now. To make that easier, I should really find my motivation to study. It's gone.

After school, I went home via the City, as per usual. Got home, ordered pizza and went to pick it up with mum. Changed, then parents dropped me at Strathfield at almost 8. Met Jan, and trained it to the City. Felt super happy & free. No pressure of school, uniform, folders, bags, tuition, work :D

Walked around.. so many people on a Friday night. The weather was so nice. Just sat and talked, listened to music, had a slurpee from 7/11, haha. Ate at some place in Chinatown, before going to Eastwood at like 1am, then met his parents, and he drove me home.

Wish we could have more of those nights.

so many times I thought I hold it in my hands
but just like grains of sand
love slipped through my fingers
so many nights I asked the Lord above
please make me lucky enough to find a love that lingers
something keeps telling me that you could be my answered prayer
you must be heaven sent, I swear cause...

something happens when you look at me I forget to speak
something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak
could it be true is this what God has meant for me?
cause baby I can't believe...
that something like you could happen to me

22 March 2007

2007-03-22T20:46:00.001+11:00

Greetings!

Umm.. as you could probably tell, I didn't type the last 3 posts.......... =_=; Guess who did? What kind of guy would type like that.... hahaha. Just joking.

But yes,１００日 already, yesterday :D *love*

I feel like I haven't been properly online for a really long time. Everything that's happening seems like a blur when I look back after a few days, too.

I've also been talking to one of the girls who works at tuition, Rosie. Really good person to talk to. I guess I owe Max & her thanks.. for caring. Even though they'd never come across this, I'll make sure I'll thank them properly before I leave.

Life is so.. mm, I don't know how to describe it. I think my life is a life that no-one would really want to read about...... It's so.. o_o;

UMMMMMMMMMM. Maybe post a couple of pictures later.

*****
Friendship isn't ranked by whom we have known the longest
who came first
or who cares the best..
its about who came and
never left..

21/march/07

2007-03-21T10:33:00.000+11:00

100 Dayz of Love..! edit later..

20/march/07

2007-03-21T10:31:00.000+11:00

20/march/07 at 8:30am JanJan came to pick me up at Wm station, cuz i got a lot of textbooks to return and he came to carry them for me!^^.. <3 Got off at Ns station and caught a bus to Nsg..!
i had to go class ))= thinking about JanJan... *what he will be doing by himself for hours*

JanJan sat at 88 for many many hours! waiting for me = ) s2 He came back to visit me at recess, but soon the bell rang and i had to leave him...Noooooo~~
At lunch time, Tim, JanJan and I went Yum Cha at Crows nest. didn't eat that much, cuz felt abit sick!

After school, went to the ct wif Hana, was planning to buy stuff for our Ass, but she decided to go burwood~.. T.T.. Met up wif JanJan..!^^ Took alot of photos, and Videos~^^

Weeeee. 4:30 i had to go meet my mum.. *Hunni came wif me, and said *Lie hou* to my mother.. = p then He left ) = .......but but... called him 15 mins later cuz i missed him soo much... told him to come back and eat wif mother and I. = ))) and he DID! Yayaaaaaa

After Fooding ourselves.. mother and I decided to go home... but i really didnt want to leave JanJan ><' soo i went back to find my Hunni** we went to MC, played Drums, and DDR~^^ we didnt fail any~^^ Yay! first time hunni playing DDR wif me~((( = hes PRO! better than me! '

Didn't play Cliff *HANGER today!

we left the Ct at 9 Old-clock.. JanJan had to go home.. soo he couldn't take me home.. but its ok.. there was alot of people on the train and I called him right after he got off the train~^^

19/march/07 Monday...

2007-03-21T09:24:00.002+11:00

19/march/07 Monday...Went to school feeling very sick today! ><"" didn't end up going to any classes. JanJan came to visit me, which made me feel much better.. but when he left, i felt really sick again ><..

At lunch time Shelia, JanJan and I went to the Ct for Lunch~at Ichiban.. He had Ramen~..= ))

After lunch, we spent some quiet times 2gether, played a game called, *cliff HANGER* = DD we left the Ct around 5ish.. caught the train wif Hunni~ but soon he had to get off at Eastwood ><.. felt really sick when he left!! i got off at Epping, Dad picked me up.. went home and *dies*

17 March 2007

2007-03-17T23:52:00.001+11:00

I went to school 1.5 days last week.
&& it's year 11 oh dear..
must begin to organise myself properly now that main problem/s have subsided

I haven't blogged about what I've done for a very long time, I think.
So I'll try and do that now, just for a change :D

went to eat soooo much today.. @ Auburn RSL, there were sooo many people.. was talking to Steven & Kitty, Steven asked me what I did last week.. I could hardly remember the beginning of the week............ =_=;

Monday, 12th March:
HAPPY 3月Sweetie!

I did go to school, but didn't attend a single class.. so that didn't count. After lunch, Jan came to school, then Hana, Mel, Jan & I left to city to go y2k to eat. Then seperated and just blah around the city.

Got my hair done by J, for fun. Bumped into Amy, tutor @ Mr. Gu's ^__^

Eat with Yutaka with Jan's friends.. but no Jan. Darling Harbour. Went to Eastwood then taxi home..

Tuesday, 13th March:
Stayed home. Jan came, then in the afternoon we walked to Parramatta to eat at a Vietnamese restaurant on Church Street. Sit around & went home.

Wednesday, 14th March:
I went to school, then had tuition.

Thursday, 15th March:
School............ I don't remember... very much........ I don't remember if I attended any classes. I'll assume I went to half of them :D

Friday, 16th March:
Went to the city, met Mel, & go around with her. Shopped a bit. Played a bit. Spend lots of money. $_$

Then caught 290, she got off at North Sydney and I went to Maquarie Centre. Said hello to Jan and Tim at work. They work very hard. Then I walked around and sat in the foodcourt, for a couple of hours until 6pm when work finished.

Went to Eastwood, blah with his friends for a few hours. Ate & drinks at Cafe. Then went to a park near my place. I got driven home ^__^

Lots of Jan recently.
Haha, take care peoples.
Smile; be happy! (:

15 March 2006

2007-03-15T20:27:00.000+11:00

I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily

"Save your tears cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door

But still I swore
To hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart

Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings

And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever

The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can't forget
I still relive that day
"You've been there with me all the way"
I still hear you say

14 March 2007

2007-03-14T23:19:00.000+11:00

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I’d be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I’m somewhere I’ve never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

**
It’s so unbelievable,
And I don’t want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you’ve always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it’s so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I’d never thought I’d be.

In my heart, in my head, it’s so clear now,
Hold my hand you’ve got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you’ve rescued me some how-.
I’m alive, I’m in love you complete me,
And I’ve never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

**

When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

**

Now I see, what love means

11 March 2007

2007-03-11T21:46:00.000+11:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

I don't know, a couple of them I didn't know whether to tick or not.

11 March 2007

2007-03-11T19:43:00.000+11:00

Don't principally live for tomorrow,
for tomorrow may never come..