midori apple*Blogspot

at 9:15 PM

I feel.. that everything is pointless
that everything is so bland, and life is rather not worth all this trouble
I feel like.. I can't be bothered with anything
I feel.. empty cold and so alone..
and so helpless..

I would love to turn back time and pause..

I haven't felt this properly for so long.. more than a year or so.... and I'm not used to it anymore.....

FUCKKK.

Apparantly, it might be just withdrawal symptoms.. Jan is on the plane at the moment about 7.5 hours away from me.. and I've been staring at his photo all day.. knowing I won't see him for many weeks.. like some love sick retard

I really don't know

I can't concentrate on anything at the moment

FUCKING HELLWHATTHEFUCK is wrong with people these days!?!! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK.. fucking pissed off.. cannot live this way man.. I just want to AHH! this is what fucking happens when you are used to depending on someone.. when they're not there for you for some reason, you are forced to deal with everything by yourself.. and in my case, survival rate is slim