a couple of unrelated, or only vaguely related things

I feel lost, in a sea of grey..
am I of any use? what is the use of being alive and breathing? I do not make good contributions to this world, to anyone..

I do not exist, but yet I do; I hate being in between.. why can't it be black or white? dead or alive? why I am in between, on the borderline?

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Saturday, 8 October 2005 4:00:09 AM
3:12am
Daisy...
sigh... why am i feeling so... so... so shit?
daisy is a girl that loves and cares for a lot of people
there is no evil in your soul or your heart.
though sometimes people dont feel the same way as u do, u keep on trying to change there mind.
you love to help people out and your always happy
keep on trying to make the whole world around u smile
n if it seems lyk there is nobody who cud luv u as much as u cud luv them, think again =)

I am a soul filled with bittersweet memories..
can I ask you, am I really what you said I was? why can't I see it? why does it seem like none of it relate to me now?

thankyou for last night, for showing me your past to help my future..
and sorry for the disconnection; I will explain later

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and music plays, echoing through the air..

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you care so much for me..
I'm sorry I let you down today, I feel so bad.. I am so selfish
the pain I'd have to go through is not worth as much as the time you put into me, to make sure I am okay
I didn't mean it
I'll try never to do it again
I deserved the lecture, the words that were spit onto me..
I don't know what to do if you ever decide to leave me..

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for those who know about the other drama in my life at the moment; what do I do now?